Break the cycles of abuse and toxicity in relationships by learning how to love yourself.

Break the cycles of abuse and toxicity in relationships by learning how to love yourself.

“You should expect those you’re in a relationship with to match your worth

People that support you and love you no matter what you do are the kind that you want in your life. When people truly love and support you no matter what then you won’t feel like you have to change your behaviors for them or do anything outside of your authentic actions in order to ensure that they accept you. These are the kind of people you should seek and keep in your life. I’m not saying go tell everyone in your life right now to get lost if they don’t fit the bill. Everybody has their issues and even our own families can be bad at unconditionally loving us sometimes. There are plenty of ways to have healthy relationships with people that don’t accept all of us.  I am a firm believer that everyone should have a least one person in their corner that they can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, loves them no matter what.

I have found that if you begin to improve your self-worth and do this work for yourself, you will begin to resonate with people that will do this for you. You will attract people that match your level of self-worth. If you love yourself so fiercely and unconditionally that you think you deserve the world, then you’ll find those out there who also love you unconditionally and believe you deserve the world also. Along my journey, as I love myself a little more each day, the relationships I have change and evolve to match my self-worth. The relationships that can’t grow with me dissolve or new relationships come into my life that do match my self-worth. 

The people you surround yourself with influence you greatly. Take a look at the 5 people that you spend the most time with? Do these people help to improve your worth? Do they even know your worth? The people that you spend the most of your time with are going to make an impact on the way you feel about yourself. If they aren’t cheering you on, telling you how much you rock when you do something great, or telling you how you’re a good person even though you made that mistake, then you might need some new peeps. Our closest people should be like our biggest fans. If we have a great support system influencing us to love ourselves more fully and more deeply then it will make it much easier to love ourselves and improve our sense of self-worth on this path.

My husband tells me I’m the best person he has ever met. He tells me I am the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He tells me I’m the most amazing mother on the planet. He tells me he’s lucky to have me. He tells me that I’m capable of doing anything and being anything. He tells me that he’s proud of me and that I’m his everything. My best friend tells me I’m the best friend that she has ever had. She tells me that I’m a strong woman. She tells me I’m inspirational. She tells me I’m only human and should give myself a break more often. My mom tells me that I’m wise. She tells me that I make her proud. She says I’ve become the most amazing woman. My Sister tells me I’m the best big sister any girl could ask for. She says I’m successful. She tells me I’m a good listener. My mother in law says she brags about me all the time. She says I’m great at what I do for a living. She tells me I’m great with people. She says the family is blessed to have me.

I told you all this not to brag but to give you examples of the kind of things my 5 closest people say to me on a regular basis. They never make me feel less than or not good enough. They don’t point out my flaws or shame me to keep me down. The 5 people I engage with most frequently fuel me and help me to thrive. Now, I keep other people in my life who may not be considered cheerleaders of mine so I’m not saying you have to kick anyone out of your life. Unless of course they actively try to make feel bad about yourself on a regular basis and you don’t feel you can advance in your self-worth journey without cutting off communication. That is up to you. What I am saying however, is that the people you spend the most time and energy on need to be these types of folks who lift you up and make you feel better about yourself. They should bring out the best in you. This is how you know you have a positive connection that you should prioritize as one of your top 5.”

This is an excerpt from my book How to Wear a Crown.


Your Crown awaits you Queen 👑

Get the book by going to

Learn more by going here:

Loving you until you learn to love yourself….



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s